Saturday, October 22, 2011

boomer, ridiculous & little chicken

Sweet Cheeks (aka Chicken - aka Pax - and if you’re just joining me - aka my son) slept with daddy and I. Little Chicken is getting so big. His hair is growing, his soft hands are turning into toddler hands, his sweet baby cheeks (face & behind) have me hungover in love I can hardly contain myself. He’s so smart and alert. He’s a total peace maker and the most reflective kid I’ve ever come across. He’s got his parents wrapped up and’s a bit ridiculous. I’m consumed by love for him. I wouldn’t believed it if you had told me every day for my whole life up until now - that I would love this child, God would give me, so much. 
I almost hate it for him. That I kiss his face and his little arms and feet too many times to count (though it would be interesting to know).. The kid doesn’t even have a prayer against my love for him. 
Boomer - aka my husband of 5 years (sometimes long and trying but also mixed and blended with much avail and reward) - Ben, have decided not quite simultaneously that we are going to adopt. How can this be? How could I possibly have come to this point again. When I collided beautifully with my son - only for a few months was I totally intrigued with the idea of have a zillion more kids - did reality hit and hit HARD…that I was totally and completely content with just Pax, Ben and I. Mostly rooted in the fact that Pax is the easiest, most incredibly understandible babies EVER. This kid is perfection made over - God was MORE than good to us. How could I have this same love for him and another - possibly less easy going baby…??? It seems impossible..
Fortunately I serve a God of Impossible. And in more ways than one will this benefit us. We live in a beautiful - yet tiny to the ‘american’ standards of a home for a family of three let alone four. We definitely do not have the average $18,000 - $28,000 to adopt another child and supporting & developing another human being… and could we pull off one of us staying home? Not to mention the above predicament of loving another child even half as much as our first. 
But God - does the most impossible things like they are the ‘most nothing thing’ to do.
So we go here, this is where were traveling. We haven’t landed our adoption agency, we haven’t picked domestic or international for sure, we haven’t decided a sex or age or even made provisions to change our current way of living. 
Right now we’ve merely said yes. We’ve opened our hearts up to some risk and we’ve laid our intentions and desires before the Lord. Just as before - when we asked for a baby and that He would cover costs and fit beautifully in our love bubble of a family - God provided then and I have no doubt HE will do it again and even more uniquely and magnificantly. 
So little chicken are you ready for a sibling?

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