Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Even if I Gain Nothing Else..I've Gained You!

This morning Paxton, my son, sweet little baby (more like toddler) had his very first day of day care. Like the more corporate kind. I'm so thankful for those women who watch him, they love them like their own - sending me pictures of him and communicating throughout the day.. I'm grateful and so thankful for God looking out for us. This momma was having a hard time wanting to take him. He had no care as I dropped him off and left. That kid. Momma bear was broken. Tis for a season.

We are still waiting for our conference interview with Children's Cup - as our schedules conflict with when they can call. A bit anxious to get this on the road. However, I'm partially enjoying and dreading God's everyday teachings as we wait.

Everyday since beginning of this month.. I have been instructed to walk by some extreme faith and boldly tell a friend she will become pregnant and it will be the Lord who gives her a baby to speaking some serious prophetic truth to friends about their dreams - to yesterday, having one of my most loyal guests tell me she has breast cancer and a mass in her abdomen. The same guest who until 2011 had 3 perfectly healthy children face medical challenges. One son being diagnosed with severe seizures, another son diagnosed autistic, and her daughter with the opportunity to have a full-ride scholarship for cheer leading break her back, hurt her leg and have a gull bladder attack. Praise Jesus she works for the government as a nurse practitioner... The Lord wanting me to pray and believe for her. Her next question was where do I go to church - so DC community expect for her and her family.(Please join me in prayer for her).

These aren't just 'say a prayer with some faith and I'm done' - I'm fighting a war for them... The wrestling daily kind! Not praise me - praise God. The enemy is under His feet! We overcome by His name!

All this and I see this life shift from my agenda to His and I'm broken before Him that He would use such an unqualified messed up person. A spoiled-often-entitled-acting-BRAT!

That He would talk to me on a regular basis.

That I would be at a point of desperation to hear Him... Even with all the distraction.

This verse says it absolutely precisely where I'm at. How wonderful that we have Words inspired by Him who is not unfamiliar with our suffering and our life.

"He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.

He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear the Lord
and put their trust in him.

Many, Lord my God,
are the wonders you have done,
the things you planned for us.
None can compare with you;
were I to speak and tell of your deeds,
they would be too many to declare.

Then I said, "Here I am, I have come—
it is written about me in the scroll.

I desire to do your will, my God;
your law is within my heart."

I proclaim your saving acts in the great assembly;
I do not seal my lips, Lord,
as you know. Do not withhold your mercy from me, Lord;
may your love and faithfulness always protect me." Psalm 40:2, 3, 5, 7-9, 11

There's still some unfinished business on my part - to be obedient to take care. Some unforgiveness I don't want to deal with... And to be honest I fleshly enjoy having. It will be taken care of tomorrow. Ugh! But it needs to happen. There must be release there.

"To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps." 1 Peter 2:21

Maybe that's what God's waiting on? Either way I want to be faithful - I want to be forgiven - so I must forgive.

See God does use brats!

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